Are women required to have kids? This New Yorker certainly doesn’t think so.
38-year-old Natalie knew that happiness looked different for everyone and she spent most of her youth trying to chase down what that word meant to her. For a while, she considered whether motherhood was the key to unlocking a fulfilling life.
But after turning 30, she realized she didn’t want kids. And it’s a choice that has, surprisingly, received a lot of backlash—something she certainly won’t stand for.
Natalie faced backlash for claiming that she wanted a child-free life
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“It’s all fun until you realize that you have lived an empty life, that you have filled with things. Not being able to have kids is one thing, but shaming people that want is not right as well,” was an example of the hate comments Natalie would receive.
Now she’s opened up with Newsweek, to address those on social media who have labeled her “selfish” and a “snob” for her decision to live a child-free life.
“I hear the question, ‘Who’s going to take care of you when you’re older?’ a lot. I don’t agree with that,” she shared. “You shouldn’t have kids just to ensure someone will take care of you later in life, that’s a huge burden to place on them.
Image credits: nattythebratty
“It’s important to make decisions based on what’s best for your life, not out of fear of the future.”
But the comments don’t just end there.
Natalie admitted she’s been on the receiving end of insults telling her that her “life has no meaning,” or that “women were made to have children.”
“It’s frustrating because it assumes that fulfillment can only come from parenthood, when in reality, meaning and happiness look different for everyone,” she responded. “My life is full, fulfilling and meaningful in ways that are right for me,” adding that she should bear no obligation to meet “society’s traditional expectations.”
Natalie had always been chasing what it meant to live a fulfilling life
Image credits: nattythebratty
Thankfully, many of her loved ones are supportive of her decision—including her own mother.
A few netizens also came to her defense.
“People are just mad you were not brainwashed and indoctrinated into thinking about woman’s value is only as a mother or wife,” one person wrote.
Another applauded, “I have children. However, I’m so proud of this generation of women that have actually THOUGHT about having kids. Not merely having them as a ‘natural’ progress of life or obligation.”
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“I have 2 grown (perfect) children and looking back i feel so selfish for bringing them in to this F’up world. Our food, environment, government etc is scary,” a third noted.
Natalie has made it clear that she is, in no way, shaming those who are mothers or want to be mothers someday — rather, she’s sharing what she believes to be her path to living a life with meaning.
From “snob” to “selfish,” people on TikTok were ruthless as they labeled the New Yorker
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“The ability to live life entirely on my own terms can challenge the traditional narrative, which might make some people uncomfortable,” she admitted. “It’s your life so don’t let societal pressure push you into something you may regret.
“Having kids is a lifelong commitment, and it’s a choice that should be made with intention — not just to conform to the idea that motherhood is the only path to a meaningful life. I believe it’s more selfish to have kids for the wrong reasons than choosing not to have them.”
Nowadays, more and more women are choosing not to have kids, in order to focus on other aspects of their lives such as their career, well-being, or simply because they don’t want them.
Image credits: nattythebratty
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According to the Pew Research Center, fertility rates are declining in many developed countries, including the U.S., which reached a historic low in 2023. 47% of adults under 50 said they were unlikely to ever have children, which was up 37% from data collected in 2018.
Experts say a few of these factors include childhood trauma, financial challenges, political and environmental fears, paltry childcare options and parental leave policies, mental illness, attacks on reproductive freedom, and much more, according to the American Psychological Association.
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“It’s not a good enough reason anymore to say, ‘I’m going to have kids because that’s what everybody else is doing or that’s what my mom wants me to do,’” said Amanda Chappell, PhD, a faculty member at Bethany College in West Virginia whose dissertation looked at the factors influencing people’s childbearing plans.
“It’s not a good enough reason anymore because there’s so much at stake.”
As some writers have put it, there is a certain empowerment to view parenthood as an option, rather than an obligation.
Some comments, however, thought Natalie’s decision to stray away from kids was admirable
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