Morality is a subject so tricky and nuanced that the only time in human history there might be consensus is when humans are no longer around. So it probably shouldn’t be surprising that there are a number of ways to get ahead in life (or at least make your days easier) that might not seem particularly “nice.”
Someone asked “What's the most evil life hack you know?” and people shared their least ethical tips for getting things done. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to comment your own ideas and experiences below.
#1
Ducks are free. You can go to a park and just take them. No one will stop you. I have 5 ducks now.
Image credits: iLikeFreedomandTatto
#2
Tell the truth 99% of the time. Then when you have that credibility, you can lie and people will believe you.
Image credits: AngelicXAdmirationn_
#3
There was a guy who was a wood worker my dad knew. Horrible accident at work, lost a bunch of fingers. Big settlement and too disabled to work...
One day he's at our house, and he's drunk. And he f*****g tells us all he did it on purpose.
My dad just told him to leave.
Image credits: Billbapaparazzi
#4
Never give away your full hand when you start a new job. Hide some of your skills and talents until you need them to get ahead. It's always easier to "improve" when you're starting at 50% capacity.
Image credits: PenislavVaginavich
#5
I was in a three-person team in Home Ec in high school. I always volunteered to do the dishes. Then when it was something gross like a really greasy pot or pan, I said to the other two that I do the dishes all the time and that they could do it for once.
Image credits: MangoPeyote
#6
In many elevators you can hold down the „close door“ button while choosing floor to get a non-stop ride. Meant to be used by rescue service/firemen.
Image credits: 2eanimation
#7
Let your a**hat coworkers underestimate your skills when starting a new job. You'll be able to learn a lot more about the politics.
Image credits: PuzzleheadedBobcat90
#8
Nothing opens a person up wider than giving them a thoughtful compliment and a relatable story.
Image credits: seraphiinna
#9
I use my ex's and bosses phone numbers at Kroger's fuel pumps to steal their discounts.
Image credits: thinkdeep
#10
If you don't wanna do something, don't do it.
Image credits: oussbai
#11
Sprinkle instant mashed potatoes on someone’s grass before it rains and it’ll make a huge mess i certainly call that evil.
Image credits: Lilnuggie17
#12
Learn to embrace the silence. It's such a powerful tool in professional conversations. Most ppl need to fill the silence and most likely say something they shouldn't.
#13
The cops in our town like to hide at the back end of the neighborhood park to catch people who let their dogs run off leash. They could park in the front lot and let people know they’re there to deter off-leashers, but they prefer to sit where they can catch you in the act. To me this says they care more about writing tickets than they care about actually enforcing the leash law.
In order to get to the far end of the park the cops have to drive through a gate that is always left open, with the padlock just hanging there, unlocked.
When I know the cops are hiding at the far end of the park I close and lock the gate on them.
#14
Changing someone’s alarm clock settings to wake them up early.
Image credits: alana_lovesyou
#15
You can purchase most items using nothing more than a simple handgun.
Image credits: Cheekyy-Charmm
#16
Use promo code 'military' at checkouts when shopping online. You could get up to 30% off, and most sites don't require ID verification for this.
Image credits: _SerialDesignationZ_
#17
Microwave fish at work. Chaos ensues.
Image credits: Old-Adhesiveness6309
#18
If you dine and dash from a steak restaurant, steal one of the steak knives so you can mug people later. infinite money.
Image credits: rockmetmind
#19
If you dont want someone to sit in front of you at the Cinema, pour some of your coke on the seat.
Image credits: No-Bet5544
#20
Walmart has a 90 day return policy for pretty much everything they sell. AC broken/heat wave? Rent a couple window units from walmart. Want a 72" oled tv for a super bowl party? Rent it from walmart...
Image credits: RoundErther
#21
Lying is normal and perfectly legal, unless you are under oath.
Image credits: MajesticCube28
#22
“Kill them with kindness” biggest troll ever. Whenever someone is super mad at you. Don’t fight back. Be understanding. Listen to them and don’t respond with anything mean. It will drive them nuts and save you such a big headache.
#23
Behave like an idiot. People will trust you more and let their guards down. It makes it much easier to f**k them over as they will never think that it was you. Also no one will expect anything from you so you will get cut a lot of slack.
Image credits: somerandomassdude404
#24
The self checkouts in stores weigh stuff in the bags, to make sure everything was scanned.
Saffron and greeting cards don't weigh much...
#25
If you're moving out of an apartment and want to ensure you get your full security deposit back, but you know there's some damage you can't fix, take pictures of all existing damages right before you move in. Then, when you move out, if the landlord tries to charge you for anything, you can show them the "before" pictures and claim it was already there.
#26
I come from a large and extended family. Knew some that circled like vultures when someone was about to die. Trying to sneak into to anything from the inheritance. Someone is dying AND it’s family, and you’re angling toward money???
#27
If you use google chrome, it saves your browsing history, even if you’re on another device. This is how I found out my ex was dating a new girl before he officially broke up with me. He googled “questions to ask in a new relationship” and also kept searching her name to creep on her ?.
#28
Limit peoples expectations of you. Occasionally make minor mistakes, and never work your hardest. assuming you otherwise do a good job, people will have a healthy expectation of your abilities, saving your mental health and slowing down burnout.
#29
Tried that one that says "putting tea bags on your eyes depuffs them!" when I was about 13. However they did not specify black tea, so my dumba*s uses an apple cinnamon tea. Cinnamon is a minor irritant so I had red tea-bag shaped rectangles around my eyes for a few hours.
#30
“You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22.
#31
Go to Walgreens or somewhere that sells Costco or Sam’s gift cards. Buy one for any amount and then go shop without being a member. Because you have the gift card they can’t make you buy a membership and will let you use it. .
#32
Work correspondence hack:
Anything that benefits you, put it in an email, letter, etc. so it can be memorialized when possible.
Anything that is detrimental to you, make a call or discuss the issue face to face verbally. Don’t leave a paper trail. .
#33
I have 5 different 1 L water bottles, one for each day of the week. I fill them up before I leave work from the filtered water coolers and then put them in the fridge when I get home. Living alone, I haven't had to buy bottled water or a water filter in 11 years.
#34
When you enter a raffle drawing, fold or crinkle your ticket/slip of paper a little bit. It makes it slightly more likely to be drawn. It's worked for me a few times and I feel a little guilty every time.
#35
People say outdoor furniture is expensive? But it's actually free. People just leave it lying around for anyone to take.
Technically the same with tyres for cars too.
#36
Mix cockroach bait into some mashed potatoes and leave it in the corner. The roaches will come running for the smell. Here’s the kicker: they don’t die right away. Instead, they take the potato mix back to their nest, which means you’re secretly wiping out a whole roach family while you just chill. It's like a roach trap with a side of mashed potatoes...
#37
Go to your local appliance store. Buy a microwave, but pay in cash. Give a fake name and address. Go home, carefully remove the microwave from the box without actually damaging the box. Put a cinderblock in the box. Tape the box back up. Go back to the store the next day and say that you had second thoughts about the microwave. Get your money back and get out of there before they open up the box and find a cinderblock. You paid in cash and they don't have a real name or address to go after you. Free microwave!
I worked at a furniture and appliance store. This actually happened to my coworkers.
#38
You know when you get a ticket to park in those parking garages that charge hourly? Well on your way back to your car walk by the ticket machine and get yourself a fresh new ticket so you pay less.
#39
Obtain a burner phone and list yourself as a reference on job applications. Have gaps in your work history? Cover them up with fabricated freelance computer work or home renovations.
#40
If someone asks you to do something sketchy or slightly illegal and you don't want to do it tell them you are already on probation and don't want a third strike then steal their wallet. They will be too scared to report you.
#41
Confidently stating "And you know I'm right" after presenting your argument can be surprisingly effective. People are often swayed by conviction, even if the logic isn't entirely sound.
#42
My wife used to be quite indecisive so I played rock paper scissors with her and I always chose rock. After she clocked on she would choose paper or scissors depending on what she actually wanted. Helping her feel more comfortable recognising and voicing what she wants was a genuine pleasure as she struggled with this due to her parents. However this lead to her suggesting to play when she could avoid things knowing i was only going rock. Stuff like cleaning the car, going to the shop, making dinner, little things we share responsibilities for but in that moment she wanted to chill.
Well this went on for about 2 years while living with her mum, who had suddenly booked an impromptu late night flight from an airport 3 hours away she asked if we could give her a lift. My wife turned to me and said lets play for it. In a moment without thinking I went scissors, i shocked myself, her jaw dropped, her mum rushed her out the door while i ordered a pizza and played xbox for 4 hours before going to bed.
I had unintentionally created a get out of anything free card.
#43
I used to go to subway knowing my bank account had like 45 cents I there. I’d customize my sandwich and then it was time to pay, I’d be like “ugh what is wrong with my card? I have money in there!”. Since my sandwich was customized to me, they would just give it to me. I was a crappy teenager.
#44
Walk into a Chipotle, Panera, or any restaurant that puts online orders on a shelf. Walk up to the shelf with confidence and take one of the bags and walk out. Free meal.
#45
Putting superglue in someone's lock can completely ruin it, making it impossible to open without replacing the whole mechanism.
#46
One of the easiest ways to make your kid afford college is dealing d***s. You can either make a good amount of money, or if you get arrested & sent to prison, he/she are eligible for scholarships related to this circumstance.
#47
Not only can people be manipulated into anything, once you figure out how to tie their pride into it, they become righteous about your manipulation. This is how you get loyalist.
Let's say that there was a perverted guy manipulating a girl. He knows psychology and he's older so he can manipulate her. But he will never call her a "girl" he would call her a "woman." This ties the girl into pride and now her being off with an older man makes her feel independant and in control of her life. This seals the manipulation and she she falls to Stockholm Syndrome.
This is not exclusive to relationships. This is how loyalists are born in politics. People who never admit that their party is ever wrong. These politicans manipulate people then use ehnicity or subcultures to tie peple's pride to their cause, sealing them in an illusion.
I understand how this works. Not only did I study some psychology but as an artist, I can create works that effect people in a certain way. It works, but it's immoral so i use my knowledge of this to inform people of others using methods to control people. If anyone is tickling your ego, be alert.
#48
Slightly alter your name on resumes to identify companies with biases based on which names get more callbacks.
#49
Microsoft Paint can be used to delete and replace text on any scanned document, the eyedropper tool can match the font color and even the paper background color to make the change look seamless.
#50
Buy it, use it, return it. The Walmart way.
#51
Mention "credit card chargeback" to get a refund when a company won't budge; they'll usually cave to avoid the hassle.
#52
Create multiple email addresses to continuously take advantage of free trial periods for subscription services, effectively getting them for free indefinitely.
#53
Be as selfish and exploitative as possible and you will go far. I wish I wasn't so empathetic so I could try it.
#54
Bankruptcy.
I run up 50k in credit cards and then file bankruptcy every 10 years.
I get new credit cards a month after the discharge from the same companies that I just screwed who want to help me rebuild my credit.
Fill out the paperwork yourself (easy) and just pay a $200 court filing fee. There is no need to pay a lawyer.
#55
This is more of just a hack than a life hack. Those soda vending machines with the big square buttons on them, 3 rows of 4 buttons separated in the middle, used exclusively by PepsiCo?
Well if you count the first 4 buttons across, then press 1, 3, 2, 4, then hold down the selection you want, it’ll dispense it for free as a maintenance test feature. Some places can turn this feature off, but it will still activate a sequence where you can’t pay for a soda and starts displaying codes when you push a button. So I’m sure if you say to whoever owns the machine that this thing ate your money, they’ll give you a free soda or tell you to call the number on the machine to get a refund. If they do that, you’re on your own.
Hold the final button to cancel the test sequence.
#56
On weekends, especially in the summer, go to your larger parks in your area and scope out the company picnics. Make yourself at home, grab a plate or two. Nobody will challenge you, they think you are probably family. When I was a starving college student living in San Diego, did this almost every weekend. Will do it occasionally when I come across the opportunity.
#57
I knew a guy who needed four new tyres for his car. Instead of going to a tyre place and shelling out €300 (this was years ago, I’m just using 300 as an example) he instead rented the same model of car for a day. Then he swapped all four wheels onto his car and put the s****y ones on the rental. Ended up costing him the equivalent of maybe one tyre.
#58
Buy stuff that you need like camping gear or a tent, canopy and something alike and then return it. I do it sometimes during the summer. Saves a few hundred since I don't use it often and takes way too much space.
#59
Self checkouts offer a handful of ways to fleece big corporations that have been fleecing us all along.
It's not really possible for them to check that you wrote the right product code on a bulk purchase from where they're standing, for example, so these high-end cashews are functionally low-end peanuts.
I added one bag of ice to my purchase and carried my receipt to the cooler with me, which is why nobody bats an eye when I grab four bags of ice.
But my favorite is one my old girlfriend seemingly invented. Buy a cheap bottle of wine. Carefully scalpel and peel off the UPC code. Go back another day and Scotch tape the UPC code over the one on a really expensive bottle (make sure the bottles are similar enough that the weight is the same). They'll come to check your ID but they really have no reason to inspect your booze. That's how she spent $9 on a $200 bottle of Far Niente for a Christmas party.
Any others y'all know of......?
#60
Had a keurig break. Bought a new one, put old one in new ones container and returned it, saying it broke when I tried to use it. Because it was broken it didn’t go back on the shelf, so the only one hurt was the company.
source https://www.boredpanda.com/evil-life-hacks/
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