Starting college can surely be stressful, but for some people, stressful situations begin even before school does.
For the redditor u/AdRelative130, problems started when she got accepted into a really good college. It happened to be her cousin’s dream school, but the latter didn’t get in, which led to family drama and the OP asking if she was a jerk for not giving up her spot.
Starting college is an exciting new chapter, which can be quite stressful too
Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev (not the actual image)
This redditor got into a good college, but her cousin didn’t, causing a rift in the family
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual image)
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual image)
Image credits: AdRelative130
Applying for colleges can be quite a stressful and costly process
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual image)
Those who decide to seek higher education might have to jump through quite a few hoops, which—as if it all wasn’t stressful enough—can be rather significant to their future. Upon making the decision to go for it, the person has to think of a career path they want to follow and choose the school where they want to start it. In addition to that, they have to endure the stress caused by the application process, which reportedly affects around 74% of applicants, according to the Princeton Review.
The Review also revealed that the applicants’ and their parents’ biggest worry is the level of debt to pay for college; their biggest hope—to receive aid—is based on finances as well. So it’s no surprise that college admissions can take a toll—both mentally and financially—on the entire family, especially considering that the application fee alone can reach a hundred dollars in some schools.
U.S. News & World reports that it’s the National Universities that tend to have the highest application fees out of all schools, some of which include Columbia University, Harvard University and Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and Stanford University, among others. Though, according to data provided by the Princeton Review, the latter is the applicants’ and their parents’ number one dream school.
A rejection from a university can have a strong negative effect on the applicant
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual image)
Despite ranking as the top dream school for a number of future college students, Stanford University came third on Forbes’ list of top colleges in the US. According to data based on student success, return on investment, and alumni influence, Princeton University ranked first, leaving Yale second on the list. The fourth and fifth right after Stanford were Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and University of California, Berkeley respectively.
The redditor didn’t reveal what college was the one she got into, which also happened to be her cousin’s dream school. Even though fellow netizens suggested the latter might have stepped over the line, it’s not surprising that emotions tend to run high, considering how stressful being rejected can be. Licensed psychologist and co-author of the workbook Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens, Mary Alvord, PhD, emphasized that being rejected can have a strong negative effect on a teen, especially when they see their peers get into schools they didn’t.
“When you’re competing, parents and teens need to keep in mind that there are many factors,” she told Verywell Mind, adding that if a friend gets into a school and you don’t, that doesn’t mean that you’re less than them. The expert also pointed out that it’s important to remember there are other great schools out there. “We don’t want them to catastrophize and get so upset that then they feel like they have failed,” she noted.
It’s unclear whether the cousin’s and his family’s reaction was based on negative emotions related to the rejection or other factors, but it was strong enough to make the OP ask for a second opinion on the situation; fellow redditors didn’t hold back and shared theirs in the comments.
Fellow redditors didn’t think the OP was a jerk in this situation
The redditor provided an update after reading through the comments
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