Children are creative powerhouses, since they often take in new information daily, without being given any clear explanations about the “why” and “hows” of the world. The result is what some adults deem “kid logic” where they take a shot at working out the mechanics of the universe.
So one netizen asked the internet to share their own examples of bizarre and hilarious things they believed as kids. From the universe being black and white until the 60s, to various theories on how babies are made, people delivered stellar cases of “kid logic.” So get comfortable as you scroll through and be sure to upvote your favorite posts.
#1
I thought the chalk outlines from crime scenes were residue left by souls leaving the victims’ bodies.
Image credits: ABB0TTR0N1X
#2
As a small child, I was convinced that [jerk] people are [jerks] because of certain bacteria that are unique to them and if I interact with them, I will catch their bacteria and become an [jerk] myself.
Image credits: CartanAnnullator
One can’t just blame ignorance and leaps in logic on some of the things we sincerely believed as a child. Many parents (fathers in particular) have a penchant for having a little bit too much fun inventing and spreading disinformation. Or, perhaps equally as common, some parents refuse to reveal that adults don’t actually know everything about the universe and will simply make some facts up.
Regardless, this often leads to some amount of normal “magical thinking,” the process when a person imagines connections between things that are simply not true. As a kid has a lot less information to work with, can happen all the time, i.e. “if it works like that in my family, it must be true everywhere.”
#3
When I was really young, I used to think people had different accents because the air in their country made their voice that way.
Image credits: TheOtherMother91
#4
When I saw a character die in a movie I thought the actor sacrificed themselves and died in real life for the sake of the film.
Image credits: Fun_Ferret5125
#5
I thought putting sticky tape on torn paper would repair it. So like most kids, I was told putting a bandaid on a cut made it better. Which made sense because when you took it off the cut had started healing. Well I figured that sticky tape must do the same thing right? I used to pull tape off of things to check if it was "fixed" yet ??♀️
Image credits: ShutterBug1988
A child has to learn everything for the first time but is often limited to what their physical senses can “detect.” So, as one might notice, the majority of “kid logic” listed here featured the physical appearance of something having an exaggerated effect on it. This often has comical results, where “superpowers” are attributed to items of clothing and, for example, the color of a car.
#6
I thought that bands lined up at the radio station waiting their turn to play their song and then went to the back of the line.
Image credits: drumorgan
#7
Lions are boys and tigers are girls just like dogs are boys and cats are girls. Horses are boys and cows are girls and so on.
Image credits: maddasher
#8
I used to believe that in order to get pregnant and have a baby, you had to eat A LOT so that your stomach would get bigger and the food would transform into a small human being ?
Image credits: a_jill_g
However, the desire to understand “why and how” tends to only really develop around the age of eight. Once a child starts to get a bit more independent, they might turn away from bombarding their parents with questions and will instead try to “figure it out” themselves. This list has just a few examples of the hilarious logical paths that they take.
#9
I thought ATMs were just machines that gave you unlimited money lol. I wish :(
Image credits: xmephistax
#10
I thought every bald person had cancer?
Image credits: No-Newspaper-8416
#11
I thought condoms were for boys periods!!
Image credits: Debsrugs
This is a result of working with bad assumptions. While elements of a kid’s logic may be solid, they tend to often not recognize that just because something is true for them, doesn’t mean it’s universal. You can actually discover a lot about a child’s internal thoughts and family life just by seeing what they assume is the baseline.
#12
I thought that Gatorade was made by squeezing the juice out of alligators. It was so disgusting I couldn't comprehend anyone wanting to drink it.
Image credits: Mary_9
#13
I thought girls were born from women, and boys were born from men. It made sense at the time.
Image credits: gutierra
#14
My son asked me that question when he was little. "When you were little, was the world in color?"I was born in 1981.
Image credits: TheOldestMillenial1
While many of these ideas fall apart as new evidence is gathered, some bits can remain for an embarrassingly long time, often becoming an inside joke for the entire family. So if you want to keep exploring the hilarious chaos of “kid logic,” look no further, Bored Panda has another article on the best of bizarre ideas children have put together.
#15
My dad had a gay younger brother named Mark, my mother also had a gay younger brother named Mark. When I was 5 years old my dad told me if your name is Mark that means you're gay.... I didn't realize he was joking until I was like 14.
Image credits: Important-Anybody-74
#16
I thought all cats were female and all dogs were male
Image credits: Extra_Jumpy_Draugr
#17
I thought you get pregnant when you kiss at your wedding.
Image credits: wilmaismyhomegirl83
#18
People would talk about seeing a drunk or their uncle who is a drunk. I thought that getting drunk was permanent from one good drinking session. I was horrified when heard high school kids were getting drunk. Probably was close to 12 when I learned about sobering up.
Image credits: AbbreviationsIll7821
#19
I thought wearing green during day time gave us extra energy since plants are green and made energy that way.I even wore green clothes every time there was a sports event assuming it made me faster and stronger.
Now i realise chlorophyll is different from green dye and its an entirely different concept of biochemistry.
Image credits: SuDi10298
#20
i thought that every time i played with a toy the person who bought it for me would get money. i used to try and play with all my toys equally so everyone would get the same amount of money.
Image credits: robarazzi2
#21
I thought if it was raining, it was raining all over the world.
Image credits: tsutsu07
#22
I used to run away from home as a kid quite often to go adventuring. Countless times upon being found or returning after said adventures, my mother would try and remind me if the dangers of me being by myself at such a young age and I wasn't worried because I was convinced Superman would come out of nowhere and save me if anything happened.Luckily I didn't have to learn the hard way that it simply wasn't true.
Image credits: Ozi_izO
#23
When I was little I thought gunpoint was a street so whenever I saw the news that someone got robbed at gunpoint. I would think to myself why would people go there if they're just going to get robbed?
Image credits: valtboy23
#24
I genuinely thought you could hear the actual ocean anywhere you wanted by listening to a sea shell.
Image credits: International-Hat950
#25
My grandparents on one side of the family have a house in our state and a cabin in another that we would spend weekends at growing up. For some reason, when I was really little, I didn't really get how that worked. Since you can go to Grandma's house or Grandma's cabin, I just assumed I had two identical grandmas, and one just lived at each house. To make it worse, I understood that I only had the one grandpa and just assumed he was married to two identical grandmas. My family still mentions this in jest occassionally.
Image credits: Kitsune_Wife
#26
When someone said “In my point of view” it was actually “in my point of you”. So I would say “in my point of me” because why would I said you, when it was my point!#27
Every country was on a different planet. China was on Mars.
Image credits: rush2me
#28
I thought hamburgers were called hand-burgers. Since you eat them with your hands ???
Image credits: SlugGirlDev
#29
Since breastfeeding from my mum gave me milk then I should breastfeed from my dad to get chocolate milk.Luckily that was shut down pretty fast and I did not get far enough to find out.
Image credits: Temporary_Memory_129
#30
Way back in the 70's I thought my Grandpa had a car that told him where to go, like GPS today. As he was driving a green arrow on the dash would start flashing to the right. He would then turn right. Then another arrow flashed to the left. He would turn left. I was totally blown away.#31
I was certain that fat people didn't poop enough.#32
I thought teachers lived at the school & remember feeling confused that they didn’t.I also was deeply offended when I saw my Mom pay our babysitter. I thought she played with us because she just liked us!
#33
I was convinced that the reason you were not supposed to swallow gum, was that the gum would stick your heart to the inside walls of your chest and stop it from beating. Like you swallowed food and it just dropped into a big open abdomen with a heart beating in the center.#34
My sister used to joke and say that the best way to fix hiccups was to stick your leg in the freezer. I think I realized that she was joking when I was 10.#35
There is a mountain where I live called Stockhorn. When I learned the capital of Sweden was Stockholm I thought that Sweden had to be just on the other side of that mountain. I believed that for far longer than I like to admit lol#36
I thought there was a huge warehouse-like building, with hundreds of big red buttons lined up with one person at each button. During commercial breaks, whoever pressed theirs fastest got to play their commercial next. Sometimes commercials get cut off by another commercial and I thought that was someone pressing their button before it was time. No idea where I got this idea from#37
When I was about 6, my family & I saw The Bee Gees perform on a variety TV show. Based on how they sang in such a high falsetto, lil’ me was convinced that all songs were actually sung by men & there were no women in music. I immediately mentioned this theory to my aunt & I’ll never forget the look on her face as she had to stifle her laughter.#38
I thought "Skyscrapers" were airplanes, and not "Tall Buildings" until I was about 10...Here is how that happened:
I went to the park with my mom as a little kid. The park was located on the outskirts of the big city where some tall buildings could be seen in the distance. "She said look at the sky scrapers, can you see them?"
So, I looked around and saw a plane... It had a white trail behind it... I assumed the plane was "Scraping the sky".
#39
I used to think that when my grandmother flew in an airplane to visit her family in England, that England was in heaven because the plane went up into the clouds.#40
I had my tonsils out and was convinced that you died during surgery. I was terrified when I heard my mom agree to me having surgery. . I thought she was given them permission to kill me.#41
I thought that when films had a character as both a child and an adult (flashbacks, time lapse, etc.) that it was the same actor filmed years previously. I thought it must take forever to make a film and that's why they were so expensive.#42
My dad told me “Watch for Falling Rocks” signs were signs to keep a lookout for a lost Indian brave (who’s name was Falling Rocks) who got lost while out hunting to win the hands of the chief’s daughter. Every time we passed one of those signs I’d look all around to see if I saw him.I was in my teens before I realized that was stupid. ?
#43
When lightning would occur I just assumed the earth was getting closer to outer space. Because for some reason I thought space was filled with electricity#44
I thought you could eat anything if you bit it.. one time my grandma said "you're so cute I could eat you like a cupcake" and she got closer to my arm and made "nom nom" noises so I screamed and cried and I hid from her for a week#45
Your tongue sticks out when you die. If the tongue wasn't out on someone on tv they weren't really dead and just acting.#46
That the trees swaying was what made the wind#47
If I listen to the Superman theme song every day, then I would turn into Superman one day. I’m still hoping ??
Image credits: PomeloAgitated863
#48
I thought eggs were vegetables for a while because the exeggcute Pokémon card I had was a grass type. In my defense, I was around 4 or 5 years old.#49
I always thought that old statues were actually life-sized and because of that I thought giant people and giant horses were a thing#50
Not me, but a girl I was friends with in middle school was 100% confident that west and left are the same thing, ditto for right and east. I dont remember for sure, but I think she believed north was up and south was down. I tried so hard to explain to her that's not how cardinal directions work. She refused to believe me and got mad at me for telling her otherwise. To be fair, she also thought you could get pregnant from swallowing. She wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.#51
When my parents told me it was expensive to go on a trip somewhere and we had to save up, I thought it was because there was a giant toll they had to pay to get into a different state. It never occurred to me that food, lodging, and transportation costs where a thing.
Image credits: pinkradar
#52
I thought when you got to the age where you had to have a job, you got a letter in the mail that told you what your job was. I was terrified my job would be to sit in the underground room where the streetlights switches were. I didn’t want to watch traffic through the periscope and flip the switch at the wrong time causing an accident.#53
I believed only kids make mistakes.#54
I thought that the yellow caution lines on the roads, curbs etc, if you stepped on them *automatically and without fail* youd get hit by a car. I avoided them until nearly my teens when I realized that didn't make sense.
Image credits: anon
#55
I was ten, it was 1976. Mohammed Ali had a fight at Cesar's Palac. I used to go to a roller skating rink named Cesar's Palace. I though cool I'll go hang out and maybe see him and get his autograph. The night of the fight I snuck out of the house and walked a few km to get there. Well I was very upset and disappointed that there was more than one Cesar's Palace.#56
If you were underwater and closed your teeth really tight and then sucked in hard, you just might be able to extract air from the water like fish do…#57
there's a box near the traffic lights by my parents house that's for like phone and internet s**t, i just assumed someone was in there manning the lights, never ones considered the fact it's too small for that lol#58
I was around 7 at that time, recently introduced to Monopoly. I was not 100% sure if it was real money or fake money. It looked different. But what if? There was so much of it!!! Maybe I was actually rich. I was confused and wanted to test it out. I wanted to be sure. But what if it turns out to be fake? I was too embarrassed to ask.So as usual in those days, my 5-year-old younger brother became the guinea pig. When the ice cream truck rolled around the next day, I pulled off $100 from the fat stack (I was rich), gave it my brother and had him go get a couple of chocolate popsicles, while watching from the sides. That went well. :-)
#59
I used to think that people who flew in to visit lived on the planes when they weren’t visiting. I also thought very tiny people lived in the radio and sang and talked. I was obviously not a very realistic child.Oh, and I thought babies came from the cheese section of our local grocery store. I saw a really little baby crying there one time and that was the conclusion I came to.
#60
I was absolutely certain that if somebody got a 100-plus year prison sentence, they would leave their drying bones in there until the full sentence was completed.#61
I was positive women had hair on their chests like my dad and uncles.Sadly, walking in my moms room as a child taught me differently. Knock on your parents' door kiddies.
#62
I remember confidently informing my grandparents that cartoons were really just people dressed up as cartoons.Also, this one isn't mine but a story my friends dad loved to tell. When we were kids the milkman would deliver bottles of milk to the door. One day, my friend was the first to find the milk delivery and came running into the house yelling "Dad! Dad! I found a cow's nest!"
#63
That Men were from Mars and Women were from Venus, either that or the stork theory was plausible.Eating watermelon seeds would make your stomach grow a watermelon.
#64
When I was in Elementary school we all thought we'd die from getting stuck in quicksand one day or by disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle. It was such this weird bubble of fear that was omnipresent. Now? Literally nobody talks about the BT or seems to care about quicksand. My younger nephews didn't even know what quicksand was and they're almost 12 lol. Yeah I guess it's not quite the same thing as the original question posed but man...as an adult...bills are far more terrifying#65
I thought brown skinned people couldn't have nut allergies, because nuts were also brown, so they'd have the same stuff as brown people had in their skin.I didn't realise until I was 16 and it was my turn to bring snacks for my choir club. The brown guy said he had nut allergies. I went "how do you have a nut allergy?" And then suddenly it all clicked in my brain and I realised I might be intelligent, but I am certainly not smart.
#66
My daughter learned something about evolution and asked me, what it was like, when daddy and I were monkeys.#67
I used to think that the exhaust coming from the car's rearend was the force that pushed it forward. Back then, only the sporty cars had dual exhaust, they were faster because they had two pipes blowing exhaust out of the back.#68
I used to think that men and women only had sex to have babies, and that once they were married and had kids, they didn’t have sex anymore. I also thought people didn’t have sex after they were 30. It blew my mind when I eventually learned that even my grandparents still get it on from time to time.#69
That your blood was a finite amount you had throughout your life and obviously that means old people die when they lose too much of their blood.I was terrified every time I got a cut or scrape, and as a bonus I was/am still clumsy as all hell.
At 6 I got hit by a car. I was lucky that it was a side street and slower moving cars. I crawled to the curb after, noticing my elbows and knees were busted up and bleeding. I was crying and panicking and trying to cover the bleeding with my shirt when my mom arrived (I was just down the street and a watchful neighbor phoned my mother.). I got carried back home where an ambulance was waiting. I got patched up and the lovely EMT gentleman patching me up let me know that people make their own blood, so my "big boo-boos" weren't as bad as I thought. (BLESS YOU, SIR! Wherever you are now, I thank you. It's been 30 years and I never forgot his kindness and how he humored a small 6yo girl.)
#70
Happened when I was a kid and we were taking a long road trip in a new car. There was some kind of fastener in a corner in the floor and I asked my dad, "what is that for?" He said it was to hold the car together. And for the rest of the trip I wondered how that little thing held the whole car together.#71
I thought magical creatures and wizards and stuff were real in "the olden times".#72
I used to think I could somehow climb walls like Spider-Man. All the time I would just try to climb up a flat wall.#73
I used to believe that hedgehogs carried apples and mushrooms on their backs. I think that was mostly because they were portrayed like that in drawings, poems, stories.I believed it until I met a real hedgehog and saw that it's spikes would not be able to even properly stab these items. I think some older adults actually still believe that hedgehogs carry berries on their backs.
#74
I, a very isolated white child, thought that black people were just really tan white people and that all skin tones were just variations of tan-ness#75
I thought I hatched from an egg.In a way, I was kinda close.
Kinda.
In a way.
#76
I used to think that the oldest sibling had the darkest complexion and then the younger ones were lighter and lighter. This was true on both my mothers and fathers side. I am blonde and an only child so that even strengthened my beliefs.#77
My father had me convinced that if I unscrewed my belly button, my bum would fall off.... until I tested the theory.
#78
I thought I could see individual atoms moving around as a kid. Nope, it turns out I had a condition that basically tinnitus but for vision.#79
I used to think there was really a chemical in the pool that turned red if you peed.#80
Tv programs didn’t start if the tv wasn’t on.#81
My city is by the sea, and as I child I thought every city is by the sea. We were traveling to another city once with my parents, and I asked my mother what sea do they have there. She said none. I was like "What do you mean ?"#82
I thought the richest person in the world was Queen Elizabeth, oh my sweet summer child... ?I also thought the only country in the world was England, I just thought it was VERY big.
A dumb child in British education does not mix well ?
#83
i was raised catholic and went to catholic school, and until i was about 10 years old, i thought there were only two religions: catholic and public.#84
"dog years" were shorter than human years because they're smaller, closer to the ground.#85
If I didn’t run home full speed from my neighbors, Freddy Kruger might get me. This is despite never seeing a Freddy movie as a kid. He terrified me#86
I believed that my father who is a civil engineer drove a train because there was a train engineer’s hat in our house.#87
My cousin believed for a long time that Gotham City was an actual place on this planet and wanted to visit it. He was very disappointed when he started learning geography and looking at an atlas in his school years ?#88
That everyone automatically lived to age 100, then died lol#89
I thought babies were born like that chest-buster scene in Alien, and that at any time my stomach might pop open if I was squeezed too hard.My mom told me "There's a teeny tiny hole below your belly button. When you're ready to have a baby it opens up and the baby comes out."
I asked if it only opens when you have babies and she said "no" but didn't elaborate.
My parents divorced not long after that. Being the only girl in a house with 4 brothers and my pops.... I never got clarification on the issue.
I was older than I'd like to admit when I finally learned that wasn't the case. ?
#90
I was told bananas were made in a factory where they blended up monkeys and put them into peels... I believed it#91
I was convinced water spouts could pop up anywhere and just suck you into heaven.#92
I thought that the characters in movies had the same name as their actors. Like I thought that Mark Hamill's name was actually Luke Skywalker and would hear none of my parents' explainations.from Bored Panda https://ift.tt/epsYiA6
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