Even a little bit of respect and support goes a long way. Employees want to be treated with dignity and for their bosses to acknowledge their efforts. Unfortunately, not every manager is self-aware enough to do this and to admit when they’re wrong.
Redditor u/BeeeRick shared a story about how they finally quit a toxic job as a systems administrator. After dealing with “abusive and angry clients for 5 years,” the final straw was their boss giving them an hour-long lecture about taking on extra work with an ungodly commute. The OP did exactly what their boss asked of them and got “some perspective” by finding employment elsewhere. Read on for the r/MaliciousCompliance story.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral post, u/BeeeRick, and they were kind enough to talk more about their awful experiences at their old job, how much better things are at the new company, and what to keep in mind if you ever feel scared of looking for greener pastures. Read on for our full interview with the OP!
One of the signs that you’ve got a bad manager is if they find ways to blame you instead of providing the support that you need
Image credits: amenic181 (not the actual photo)
An internet user shared what their former boss did that finally made them quit
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BeeeRick
“After that hour’s lecture, I knew that was it for me”
The OP told Bored Panda that they saw their boss being belligerent toward several of their coworkers, too, not just them. “The way he presented himself to my coworkers and I was almost something that I can only describe as an ego trip, combined with a ‘this is my company and how I want things done’ attitude,” redditor u/BeeeRick told us.
“He was always VERY quick to jump to conclusions. He would hear one side of the story from the client, and before even getting my side of the story, he would be jumping down my throat,” they said. In one case, the boss didn’t let the OP defend themselves and simply said that he “didn’t need to hear me try to justify anything.” Later, the boss found out that the client had lied about everything that had happened.
“He came to me and tried to be all nice. He never once apologized for yelling at me over the phone for 15 minutes. He would never take suggestions to heart, it was always ‘my way or the highway.’”
The very first time that u/BeeeRick knew that something was very off with their boss was a few months after starting the job. “I had been calling a vendor for support and talked to maybe 3 different people, and each of them told me ‘no’ when I pressured them. When I called my boss to tell him, his whole demeanor changed, and he starts lecturing me about ‘not taking ‘no’ for an answer.’ I remembered getting off the phone and feeling like I had just been scolded over something so small. It was really deflating to my happy-go-lucky personality and seemed totally unnecessary.”
The author of the post revealed to Bored Panda that they have had “at least 100 of these interactions” during their 5 years at the company. It wasn’t just their boss who had this type of attitude: the OP’s supervisor did the very same thing, chastising them over the smallest (perceived) issues.
“It became apparent that he too, was becoming just like my owner/boss because if he didn’t act like that, he too would feel his wrath. The last review I had a few months before I left, my boss and supervisor told me that lately I ‘always seemed to have a cloud hanging over my head when coming into work.’ And that ‘I can’t let my personal life interfere with my work life.’” The OP told us that nothing in their personal life came even close to the amount of stress they dealt with at work.
“They never asked what I was feeling about my company and my clients, they just automatically blamed my personal life for my dread of coming to work every day. Then after that hour’s lecture, I knew that was it for me,” the redditor said that this was the final straw.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
“A boss should always support their workers, they should be aware of them when they are stressed or upset and ask questions”
Thankfully, things are far, far better now. The redditor was over the moon about how good management is at the company they jumped to. “My boss has been absolutely amazing. He talks about me, my life, my goals, and just me as a person. He goes to bat for me when someone tries to blame me or my department for an issue, and he stands up for us. He constantly thanks me for the job I do, and for the effort I put in, and he notices things I am doing when I don’t even realize he can see it,” u/BeeeRick explained that their new boss is a true leader in the workplace.
“He makes sure I am recognized by other bosses in the company for what I contribute and the hard work I put in. He told me he wishes he could pay me more, but that’s outside of what he can control. But what he does control, he makes sure to wield every bit of it to take care of me and to make me happy. That is what I want in a boss,” they said.
“A boss should always support their workers, they should be aware of them when they are stressed or upset and ask questions. My boss is always available when I am upset about something, or I am struggling with something. He is very quick to pick up his phone or leave his desk to go talk to another boss to put an end to my pain points and those of my department. He isn’t rash and doesn’t jump to conclusions. He gets the full picture of what’s happening before speaking. He has never talked down to me, made me feel inferior.”
Workers value moral leaders who empower them
According to the author of the post, u/BeeeRick, their boss offered them more money and begged them to stay after realizing they were jumping ship to a better company. However, that was to no avail. The OP was set on finally being at a workplace that didn’t grind on their nerves every single day.
They shared on Reddit how happy they are at their new job, over a year later. Meanwhile, their former boss went through a whopping six different people, trying to replace the OP during that time. “Hmmm, wonder why that is. Maybe he needs to gain some perspective on how to run a company and treat people?” the OP mused.
The two main issues that the redditor’s story showed us are the massive negative impact that a bad leader can have on the staff’s morale and just how much dealing with angry clients can drain you.
Harvard Business Review found that the most important qualities that a leader can have include having high ethical standards, empowering individuals to self-organize, promoting a sense of connection and belonging at work, being open to new ideas, and committing to the growth of one’s employees.
According to HBR’s research, having strong ethics and moral standards was rated as the top positive quality that a leader can have. In second and third place were the ability to provide goals, as well as clearly communicating expectations.
What’s more, workers value managers who are flexible enough to change their opinions and those who are committed to providing ongoing training to their subordinates. Moreover, good leaders will create an environment where employees feel safe to experiment with new ideas and everyone feels like they’re succeeding and failing together.
Image credits: Hunters Race (not the actual photo)
However, managers who fail to support their staff properly are broadly despised
Meanwhile, Forbes notes that some of the worst leadership traits include micromanagement, having a one-size-fits-all approach to managing employees who are all individuals, not leading by example, and lacking empathy.
Bad workplace leaders also lack focus, take credit for others’ work, blame others instead of looking for solutions or focusing on providing support, and use their team for their own advancement.
They will also often have little to no respect for their staff, lack self-awareness, and have a sense of entitlement rather than a sense of duty.
The worst part? These bad bosses expect their employees to be just like them and will pressure them to conform to their ‘values’ and style of ‘management.’
If your boss is reasonable, making them aware of the issues at work can convince them to make changes
As we’ve explained on Bored Panda before, one powerful tool in any employee’s arsenal is having a face-to-face conversation with their boss. Explain your thoughts on their behavior and decisions as calmly as you can. Be direct without sounding like you’re accusing them, otherwise, they’re likely to get all defensive and you’ll get nowhere.
In some cases, your manager might genuinely not be aware of how their behavior is affecting the people around them. If they’re at all reasonable people, they’ll hear you out and make adjustments in the workplace.
One thing that all workers should remember is that their bosses are people too, with all the flaws and mistakes and emotional baggage that this comes with. The higher up in the corporate food chain someone is, the more stress they usually have to deal with. And though that’s no excuse to lash out at others, it can explain some rather unusual or illogical managerial decisions.
Aside from communicating with your boss about their actions, it’s also essential that employees know how to handle extremely critical or rude clients. As we’ve written on Bored Panda recently, often, clients simply want to be heard, and their rudeness is an extension of that need. As such, anyone dealing with them should try not to take their comments personally. Though that’s often easier said than done.
However, if a client is being extremely rude or abusive, workers have to diplomatically set boundaries while staying calm, as well as creating a front of patience and understanding. Being polite, showing that you’re on the client’s side, and defusing instead of amplifying the tension can sometimes turn these unpleasant situations around.
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
“There came a point where I had to consider my mental health and decide enough was enough”
Meanwhile, we were very interested to get the OP’s thoughts on jumping ship to a new job. They shared their advice for anyone who feels like they’re stuck at a company with a toxic work environment and is too afraid to quit.
“I can honestly say, it’s intimidating to start a new job. You spend sometimes years learning and growing in a position and you get comfortable. That was one of the biggest issues for me. I was comfortable in my position, I just hated my boss. For sometimes a month at a time I could fly under the radar, and while other people made mistakes and were getting yelled at, I just kind of hid from my boss and did my job,” the OP opened up.
“There came a point where I had to consider my mental health and decide enough was enough. For about 3 years, I looked at jobs on job sites and worked with recruiters. I wasn’t about to give up my level of pay for something less,” they explained that, at the time, they had about 20 different offers on the table. However, those positions all paid less or demanded heavy travel.
“It got daunting finding something promising and finding out it wasn’t worth it pay-wise. I felt like giving up a few times. Things would get slightly better at my job then go downhill again. It was a rollercoaster of me wanting to leave, and staying put. I just regularly dipped my toes into the water to see what was out there. It was sheer destiny that a guy reached out to me after seeing my resume on a job site and said, ‘Hey, we have this position you might be interested in, come talk to me.’”
And that small interaction worked out, big time! The OP is now extremely happy at their new job. “It couldn’t have been timed any better. My advice would be, don’t be afraid to make that leap. When interviewing, ask questions, and don’t be afraid to have a conversation. At the end of the day, ask yourself the hard questions. Are you happy where you are? If not, why not? Is there any motivation for you to stay where you are? In the long run, is it healthy for you mentally and physically to stay where you are?” they shared their tips with other employees.
“Don’t be like I was for years, telling yourself things will get better. They may, they may not. But look at the patterns. If it’s this rollercoaster up-and-down situation, the chances of things getting better are pretty low. Commit to making a change, and focus on doing it. You’ll be amazed how much better you feel when you find something new, and it’s everything you hoped it would be. Never give up, there is something amazing out there for you!”
The employee had a small update about their old workplace
The author of the post later responded to a few comments
Here’s how some readers reacted to the workplace drama
A few internet users shared their own stories about quitting
The post Boss Tells Employee To “Gain Some Perspective” And Work Overtime With Long Commutes, Begs Them To Stay When They Find A Better Job first appeared on Bored Panda.
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