As humans, it is common to feel regret for decisions we have made, or for mistakes we have made in the past. It is a feeling that can be overwhelming and difficult to process.
Regret can manifest in many different ways. It is an emotion that can make us look back on our lives and feel as if we have missed out on something, or as if we have made the wrong choices. It can be an emotional burden that can weigh heavily on our minds. It can cause us to second-guess ourselves, feel a lack of confidence, and spiral into depression.
So in order to give you a warm hug if you’re feeling regretful and let you know that you are far from the only one living with this difficult feeling, we looked at the deepest regrets people have about things they have done. This Ask Reddit thread has become a safe place to share it with many people, and below we wrapped up some of the things they said.
#1
I called my buddy one night because I knew he was having a tough time, I told him I'm coming over, he kept saying no I'm good I'm good...he was less than a mile away. I said okay and then his mom called me in the morning saying he was dead and what did he say to me in the phone call.I wish I went over
Image credits: Taaxiua
#2
Probably rejecting my granpa when he wanted to play chess, he then fell from a roof like a week later and I never had the chance to play chess with him again, still bothers me that I kinda never had this moment with him..
Image credits: nemgtas
#3
Getting married. I spent years paying off her substantial debt, i then dumped another 50k in our "forever house" only to live in it for a year.Now she's debt free, and I lost half of everything I paid for.
Never again
Image credits: jamiecarl09
While feeling regret can be truly daunting, it’s a very human emotion to have. When we think of our regrets, we normally put focus on things like missed opportunities, past decisions, or losses.
Mary C. Lamia Ph.D, a clinical psychologist psychoanalyst who works with adults, couples, adolescents, and preteens, argues that what concerns us the most in terms of our regrets is our failure to live up to our “ideal selves” over and above our preoccupation with the mistakes we have made or the things we ought to have done. This may suggest that in the long run, we regret our inactions more than our actions.
#4
When I was 7 or 8 years old, I snapped at my dad for getting me the wrong video game and I can still see the disappointment in his face. Haunts me to this day.
Image credits: Caxozma
#5
Putting time and efforts into relationships/friendships that I should have just let go the first chance I had
Image credits: illeatyoura***
#6
I deeply regret picking on this very socially challenged girl when I was younger. I wasn't particularly vicious or anything but I should have used my popularity to stand up for her, or at least treat her right.
Image credits: GingerDuden
But while life-long regrets are real and powerful aspects of being human, smaller and more instant regrets are also part of our daily lives. They may include a nasty thing we said to our loved one or a spontaneous purchase. Speaking of the latter, impulse buying is often known as something that causes an intense sensation of regret immediately after or a little later.
Typically, an impulsive action like shopping results from tension that has built to the point where the person can no longer resist it. The immediate sense of relief from acting on an impulsive behavior is short-lived.
#7
Wanting to become adult asap
Image credits: Regular-Trip3045
#8
I was seven years of age, I had an argument with my mother the night before she died. Before I went to bed she asked me for a hug I told her NO and stormed off to bed. The next morning I woke up to find everyone in the house was gone, it was very surreal and confusing. My father came back in that morning crying and told me my mother had died of a brain hemorrhage..Never go to bed on an argument.
Image credits: Kellbag91
#9
Use my credit card too much to buy things I didn’t need. Now I’m dealing with a maxed out credit card that’s killing me every month.
Image credits: MrRontendo
In the age of consumerism, controlling urges to buy and consume new things every day may be a challenge to many of us, so we reached out to Emily Malamet, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist from the Paris Psychology Centre, to find out more about controlling our impulse to spend.
So if you’re currently browsing the sales section online or thinking of deals to catch on Black Friday, you may want to pull your seat closer to make sure you don’t regret any of these buys later.
Malamet told us people with compulsive shopping disorder may resort to borrowing money from family and friends to be able to shop more, which in turn can fuel the addiction. So it’s surely not so innocent.
#10
I deeply regret letting my creative writing and piano playing skills go to s**t. Ever since I entered the corporate world 19 years ago, it has consumed me and I no longer feel passionate about those things. I stopped practicing everything. When I try to make myself do them, it feels like just that, like I am forcing myself and it is no longer fun. I feel like I’ve become a shell of my former self in so many ways.
Image credits: La_Reina_Rubia
#11
Not opening a retirement account when I was 18 like I was told to.That and not investing my money I made bartending in my 20s. When you're that young you don't think about things like that unfortunately.
Image credits: buthomeisnowhere
#12
Letting anxiety and depression ruin so many opportunities for meAlso, becoming a parent. Despite loving my kid, I feel I'm just no good at it and its destroyed my sense of who I am as an individual.
Image credits: Background-Catch2475
“Relationships with loved ones can become more and more strained over time because those who have a shopping addiction may continually ask to borrow money even when they don’t have the capacity to pay back their debt.”
Moreover, the feelings of intense shame, regret and and desire to hide spending go hand in hand with shopping addiction. This often leads to lying, Malamet argues, something that can put a huge strain romantic relationships and friendships.
#13
My mom died nearly one year ago. She battled ALS for two years. It was very sudden and a horrific experience. The last thing she said to me before she lost the ability to speak was “stay”. She was dying and afraid and just wanted her daughter to stay by her side, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sit and watch her die. It was excruciating for me. I did visit her every day until her death, but she was no longer there really. She died a week later. I will never forgive myself.
Image credits: paula36
#14
Being too kind to people that do me wrong all the time
Image credits: thatonecustodian
#15
Focusing on boys and relationships instead of friends in high school and college. I should have developed my social skills and had a whole group of friends instead of wasting my time and breaking my heart over immature guys.
Image credits: WillBsGirl
Some signs that a person might be suffering from a shopping addiction include but are not limited to, according to Malamet, things like always thinking about things they are going to purchase and being unable to stop their cycle of compulsive shopping.
Other symptoms include a rush of euphoria after having made a purchase, an urge to buy that's overwhelming and must be gratified instantly, and feeling regret or guilt about things that they have bought. Many people with shopping addiction start to face financial problems or the inability to pay off debt which in turn makes them lie about things they have purchased or hiding what they have bought.
Meanwhile, “normal shopping involves purchasing items which are needed and used, the absence of compulsion, a lack of financial distress from purchases and having occasional splurges,” the psychologist explained.
#16
Not fighting and advocating more for myself growing up.I struggled with classes, jobs, projects and hobbies. I had a really hard time focusing on anything. I was called stupid, lazy and all sorts of other things by my teachers, friends and co-workers. I knew I wasn't any of those things but just couldn't seem to get things right... Now, a father in my 40s, i started seeing similar issues with my daughter and when we went to speak to some specialists it turns out she has ADHD and a generalized anxiety disorder. We got her treatment and a prescription for some medications and she's doing so much better at everything. The similarities in her struggles and mine motivated me to get tested and sure enough I got diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type).
Started counselling and medication (Adderall) and its like a switch was thrown. I'm a functional human... Finally.
Now I'm just dealing with the emotional trauma of growing up like that and all the pent up frustration and anger over a life that "might have been" had my parents, or anyone for that matter, made an effort to really find out why I was the way I was... Better late than never I guess.
Image credits: A_bowl_of_porridge
#17
Cheating on my girlfriend. I ended up breaking up with her because i couldn't deal with the guilt anymore. She deserved better. I still feel bad for hurting her.
Image credits: brotherofiron612
#18
Slacking off in high school and not taking college seriously. I could have worked harder, and found a career where I would be financially stable, yet here I am.
Image credits: JitteryBendal
#19
Too many things to list here. One I think about too much is how I ruined a good friendship with a girl because I let my real feelings get in the way. Basically I went full incel and wrote her a letter telling her she was a horrible person. Took me way too long to realize it was me that was horrible (and stupid)
Image credits: Poultrygeist74
#20
Used my new cordless power drill without reading the instructions. It’s a LOT more powerful than my old corded drill was. Fourth hand surgery coming up soon.
Image credits: Mentalfloss1
#21
I deeply regret ghosting someone I really did like. And she liked me. I had some bouts with extreme anxiety last year and just kind of couldn't function. I think I was also not really prepared for meeting her. It was unexpected. I think I wasn't in a great place for that at that time. I don't know if I should reach out to apologize or not. I don't know if she would want to hear from me. I probably will and I do want to. I want her to know it wasn't because I didn't like her. I really did. I really feel terrible about it
Image credits: BurnerThrowaway999
#22
Not getting a second opinion sooner on my back injury. Injured my back at work in 2014, was taken to a WorkCover doctor where I now know I was misdiagnosed and then gaslighted by the workplace OH&S officer. Had I known that I could seek a second opinion from another doctor while on WorkCover, it would have been found that I had a permanent disc protrusion that was impacting a major nerve.I waited 7 years to seek a different opinion, all because I believed the WorkCover doctor and a physio couldn't be wrong as they were professionals and that I had 'just a simple back strain'. Meanwhile I'm walking around in chronic pain with a disc protrusion that could've ruptured at any given moment.
I'm now permanently disabled thanks to my own stupidity. And I can't take legal action against the company now as there is only a 3 year grace period to do so.
Image credits: crazylittleEntity
#23
Getting married to my first girlfriend at 19. I rushed the relationship because it felt good to not be alone and I thought that I could help her with her depression and anxiety, was hoping to have kid with her as well. However as time went on she just got worse and worse and kept using her depression as a crutch to justify every s****y thing she did.When I started experiencing depression I stopped trying to keep things together and we got divorced a few years ago. I still haven't recovered mentally from it and between that and the pandemic I feel like a shell of the man I used to be.
Image credits: ancap_attack
#24
I wish I was hungrier. I love my job, but I've worked here forever and there were multiple times where I could have been groomed for management positions and I just was content to pick up a check.Outside of that, not taking music seriously. A lot of my friends and family say I have talent but I have a hard time believing that.
Image credits: UrchineSLICE
#25
I regret my tattoos. They aren’t the worst, but I’ve outgrown them. I wish I hadn’t been so impulsive when I decided to get them.Arguments I’ve had with my mom. I haven’t been the nicest daughter the past few months and I feel awful about it. I apologize after every argument, but I know I can’t take back the grief and hurt I caused.
Image credits: Itsgivingbitch
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